The match kicked off with treacherous winds in the depths of Gloucestershire, where we all survived the journey in our own cars. The pressure was on as Brandon told us he had never lost on this pitch before. Leila was obviously feeling this pressure turning up in with breadsticks and hummus in hand, ready to watch the game.
We make a strong start with Yas attacking on goal and Maya with the follow up but the keeper quickly gets her hands to it. This doesn’t matter as Serena lands a lovely cross but nothing comes of it. The ref yells “still in” when the ball is in the centre of the pitch (this is when we truly realised how incompetent he was). We put in good defending but a corner is still won. Luckily Hollie’s head clears it easily. We all establish that the 3G pitch is a borderline go kart track because there is so much rubber on it. Yas wins the ball back in their box but tries to put it on her right instead of hitting with her left (Bill wouldn’t be happy). Beth gives a good ball up the line to Chloe who drives through. Meanwhile, we are unsure why the Gloucestershire players have decided to play a different sport, diving around like Tom Daley and spinning around as if they were auditioning for strictly, which doesn’t help them make any progress in the game. Annie wins the ball in their half and is tearing her way towards the goal but then, unfortunately, out of nowhere the ball takes her out instead and the opportunity is gone. Phoebe then gets tackled down the other end of the pitch. After smashing her head on the floor, she says “i can confirm it does hurt”, like that wasn’t obvious. The opposition have a shot but it goes straight to Wendy and she has very safe hands (also thanks to Betty’s sticky spray). Beth does a beautiful clearance after a Wendy save and the ball is back to Bristol in their half. But alas just when we thought it was going in the back of the net, Yas’s shot hits the bar and there is a collective ‘aawwww noooo’. Chloe, without even having the ball, is told to shoot, whoever made this call should probably head to specsavers. Zoe has a shot and it just goes wide, which gets an ‘oooooooo Zoe’ from Leila. Serena gets taken down on the wing but we all know nothing can break her so she’s straight back up. Keira leads the cheerleading from the sidelines with an enthusiastic ‘wooo team!’ One of the Gloucestershire players manages to header it into her own players face - very entertaining for us. A wonderful cross from Beth but it goes straight through the box and Yas misses the tap into goal. Still in the opposition’s half, Zoe then dribbles the ball beautifully down the right and crosses it in but again nobody gets a touch on it. Wendy is playing with us and playing with her feet rather than picking it up - in a silly goofy mood I guess. Maya gets a word from the ref for kicking their player, causing this player to say the C word and not get booked! Wendy makes a lovely save sending their shot over the crossbar. Down the other end Maya sets a long ball to Chloe who crosses it to Annie but the goalie gets her hands on it, unfortunately for us she’s quite good. Bristol are constantly attacking their half and finally the goal comes!!! A cross from Chloe to Yas who taps it in!!!!!!! Spirits have been raised but we know Gloucestershire will be coming back in full force so we keep our game faces on. Wendy is playing good balls to the fullbacks who then move them outwards. In our half Hollie blocks a shot on an open goal. At this point Maya is getting fully shoved around in midfield but the ref seems oblivious. Anna makes a fab pass to Annie who sends a powerful shot just over the crossbar. Meanwhile their line-o is giving some very dodgy calls. On the sidelines Brandon is enjoying eating Leila and webbys dried fruit snacks. There’s nice passing between Yas, Chloe and Beth round their players to end the first half.
The second half begins with two subs: Ellie and Bea on, Chloe and Beth off. Starting strong with a long throw down the line from Ellie to Annie who shoots just wide. Then Yas gains possession and, making her way through 2 defenders, gets a shot that Bill would call ‘shooting practice’. Kiera is back on it with the cheerleading, praising Wendy for her save and claiming she’s “started gymnastics”. Bea wins the ball from a Gloucestershire throw, chips it over the player with skill and beats the defender, but it goes out for a throw. Phoebe wins the ball and storms up the pitch to play the ball forward but her aim is off and it gets intercepted. Nothing to do with this terrible pass (I think) Phoebe gets subbed off for Kiera, who is buzzing to move her cheerleading onto the pitch. Serena makes an incredible shot from 25 yards out and just misses. From a Bristol throw Maya plays a great ball through the back line to set Annie off up the line but it just goes out. Zoe plays Annie down the line, where she puts in a cross along the floor and capitano Bea smashes the ball into the net from back post. 2-0 Bristol! After putting in lots of hard work Annie gets a rest and Alice comes on. The praise for Wendy keeps flowing from the sidelines with Leila saying “I think we should put up a statue of her” and Phoebe with a slightly less detailed, but equally praising, comment “Wendy is slay”. Annie goes to relieve Beth of her line-o duties so she can catch up with her parents. Of course she ends up doing cartwheels on the way over because she’s an adult. Ellie picks up the ball at the back and plays Alice through, but it’s just slightly too long and the keeper collects it. Another sub, Zoe comes off and Hannah is on. Yas puts a ball through for Hannah but it goes out for a goal kick. Bristol win possession and Maya storms through midfield to win tackles. She then does a cheeky scoop at the edge of the box to Alice, but it goes out for a corner. Maya comes off and Chloe comes back on (we love rolling subs). Yas is just everywhere on the pitch, she can’t be stopped. Bea from the halfway line sets Chloe off and plays back to Hannah who shoots, but once again the keeper collects with safe hands. Suddenly a Gloucestershire player is down (bs in our opinion - Hannah is innocent). Chloe is making fantastic play down the right wing and back in our half Holly is sweeping with pace, ZOOOOOOOOM. Keira continues to be strong in the tackle (an absolute wall really). Gloucestershire get a corner which always makes us nervous but we clear it. Annie is the most relaxed line-o ever seen on the Gloucestershire corner, leaning against the fence with her drink. Unexpectedly a Gloucestershire player (angry number 8 with the glasses) makes a shot from outside the box, Wendy gets a hand to it but can’t keep it out.
Final score 2-1 Bristol. We all celebrate at FT with yummy donuts, curtesy of Claire. And to end the team briefing, Keira’s final words of wisdom about the girl with the big lashes, ‘if she blinks too much she’s taking off’.
POTM: Chloe Hooper
Written by: Phoebe Rice
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